Many of our parents grew up in a time when there were two things….maybe three depending on the family….that were never discussed….politics and religion.  It was not considered appropriate to bring up topics that could cause disagreement. And many people I know, still feel this way.  We should just “be nice” to each other.  We should not do anything to upset anyone else.  If we invite someone in to our home for dinner, we should keep our elbows off the table, say grace before the meal and keep to strictly “safe” topics….like the weather or what is on sale at the local grocery store. I can understand why folks feel that way, but I have to disagree.  Strongly.

I think we SHOULD have those conversations with people.  I think we should ask those at our dinner table how they feel about  healthcare and energy resources in our country. We should ask our friends what they think about North Korea and how we should react. Of course, in order for this to happen there have to be some ground rules.  First, we should treat each other with respect.  No yelling. No name calling.  We should also truly LISTEN to each other.  And I mean really listen.  Try to understand why the person across the table from you has a different view on a topic than you do.  And lastly, we should remain friends after any heated conversations occur.  No harm, no foul.

Many times, when I form an opinion about a topic, I only know my side and my view. A view that is often skewed by my life experiences.  It doesn’t make me a bad person, it’s just that I only know what I know.  It is often hard for me to see the topic from the other side.  And other folks are the same way. We all have different life experiences and that is what leads us to most of our beliefs on religion and politics.

So we need to have these conversations. If we talk about our differing views on important topics such as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, healthcare, the bailouts….if I listen to your views and you listen to mine. Maybe, just maybe, we can meet….somewhere in the middle.  Maybe you can start to understand why I may be against a policy that you support.  Maybe I can understand why you feel the way you do about a government program. 

These conversations aren’t arguments. They aren’t fights.  They aren’t drama.  They are good healthy discussions of the things that are important to us as citizens of our country and residents on planet Earth.

And if we understand each other, then we might be more likely to step away from the nastiness we often see in politics and the media.  We might be more likely to come to a middle ground….a middle ground that would be good for the growth of individual persons and our country.

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.  ~Winston Churchill

I know it seems like forever ago to us grown ups, but many people know Katey did not handle Jason’s deployment in 07/08 very well. Then shortly after he gets home, we announce that he is getting out of the AF and we will move again.  That was followed by a switch to home school and chaos ruling our lives for about 6 months.  And all during this, Katey was becoming more and more withdrawn….only wanted to watch TV or movies, didn’t want to go outside and play much, her eating habits changed, she had recurrent bad dreams, she wasn’t her usual frisky self, etc.  All of which were not my usual Katey but understandable under the circumstances.

Another thing that happened was Katey did not want to participate in any of her usual activities while Jason was deployed and that continued through out the move and up until recently.  She had decided that she wanted to try horseback riding. I agreed…whatever she was interested in that would get her back out there and feeling more independant.  THEN I checked on lesson prices!  GASP! I never knew horseback riding was THE MOST expensive activity in North America! I’m sure it’s not, but still.    Well, I had already agreed and it is the only thing she wanted to do…golf? No.  Swimming? No. Soccer? No. Tennis? No.  Crap.  But as parents you do what you need to do and Jason and I both felt that we needed to follow through on this for her.  So once we got to VA, I found the stable that offered the best deal for a week of camp.  And all the while, I was crossing my fingers that she would get close to the horses, realize how big they are, and decide it was not for her.  As you can see from the pictures below, no such luck!

Another year….another birthday.  SIGH…..You know, other than 30 and maybe 25, they all just start to blend together.  No on ever seems to remember what they did for their 34th birthday….or their 22nd for that matter. 

I think, essentially, there are two ways to look at birthdays.  Some folks experience birthdays with a certain sadness for time that has passed.  Thinking back, often with rose colored glasses, to their glory days.  Or maybe they are sad because someone they love has passed and can no longer spend their birthdays with them.  I look at birthdays in a forward thinking sort of way. I try to examine what has happened in the past year, learn something from it, and look forward to what the next year can bring. What do I want to learn in the coming year? What would I like to accomplish?I don’t feel like I am getting old.  On a daily basis, I don’t “feel” differently than I did at 18.  Oh, my run times are slower,  I can see more wrinkles and certainly having 3 kids has done it’s share of damage to my body. But all  in all, I think age is sneaking up on me….or, quite possibly, I am in denial. HA! 

One thing I am definitely trying to do is to fight the Stay-At-Home-Mom frumpiness that can settle in so easily.  So many SAHM moms spend so much time taking care of their husbands and children and the dog and the fish and the cat and the hamster, that they put themselves last on their list. It’s a list they can never get to the end of.  It’s a slippery slope….first you start out getting your hair ”styled”  so all you have to do to leave the house is pull it back….the bra is probably the next thing to go…who needs a boost when what you are really after is comfort?  Somewhere in there is the jeans….you give up on those cute midrise bootleg  jeans for a pair of “Mommy jeans”.  Jeans that come all the way up to your armpits, make your butt look like a beachball, but fit perfectly under that oversized tshirt or sweatshirt.  And of course….old, heavy tennis shoes go great with those “Mommy jeans”.  Makeup is rarely applied and is limited to church and special occassions.   And the next thing you know, frumpy has set in.

Don’t get me wrong,  I understand…..the cashier at Target could care less if you are wearing makeup when you and your 3 screaming kids check out.  The multiplication problems your 5th grader must learn don’t care if your hair is in a scrunchy or styled perfectly.  The 2 year old could care less how “perky” you are when she falls on the floor in a temper tantrum. 

But I have decided that I am going to fight it.  OH…I’m not running out to get those leopard print spandext pants to wear to park day.  And I certainly am not getting a “hot momma” sticker for the van.  I REFUSE to show my belly button in public or get anything (other than my ear) pierced.  My jeans will not go so low that I show my “muffin top” to the entire population of Northern Virginia. I’m not trying to lose my dignity after all!  But I will keep on running and learning and growing.  I will park the 2 year old in front of the TV so I can take a few minutes to shower and get dressed.  I will by new clothes, on occasion, that call for a hand wash or even an iron. (GASP!) I will get my hair cut on a regular basis. I can do all those things AND take care of the kids with craft projects and baking brownies, but you had better believe I’m going to be doing it with a cute apron on!

Have you ever been to a really busy place with your kids?  Recently we moved to the DC area and have started to ride the Metro…the girls love it!  But I have taught the girls that if something happens and we are separated…say some of us make it on to the train and others don’t….that they should just stand still.  Don’t get on a train….don’t start walking….don’t talk to strangers…..just stand still.  The reasoning is simple….objects in motion are harder to find.  If something is not moving, it’s easier to find.  It takes a lot longer to kill that pesky fly zipping around than it does to find your running shoes that were left in the wrong place.

So there is a human phenomenon I have noticed that kind of baffles me.  Why is it that when people want to “find” themselves, they do something drastic with their lives?  Move to another city….get a new job….separate from a spouse. Often times those same people have a social calendar that would make President Obama look like a slacker….constantly in motion, constantly going somewhere, meeting someone or doing something.  I’m not one to sit around in front of the boob tube and let the days of my life slip away, but seriously.

I’m not talking about physically being still. I know many people who ponder the meaning of life….their lives…while they are on a run or a ride or on a yoga mat. I’m talking about mentally standing still.  Taking the time to stop and look at your surroundings, the people you associate with, the people you don’t associate with, thinking about the God you worship or the god you don’t worship.  Taking a look at the big picture and deciding if you are on the right path for your goals in life.

But that leads me back to the same question…..How can you find yourself if your self won’t just stand still?

Oh my gosh! I am so tired.  We were doing well with the home school schedule before we moved, but since we lived in the FL panhandle and then moved to South Florida and are now up here in VA, it’s like this school year will just never end.  And because I am the one responsible for ensuring Jackie and Katey receive a good education, I can’t just “pencil-whip” it and be done. I have to continue to struggle through this and make sure we do a good job. I owe it to them and they deserve it.

And to think about starting over for next “year” when I haven’t finished with this one, is just exhausting…I can’t even think about it. And so….

I’m going to bed.

I like my kids.  Actually, I love them. But I also like them. I like to have chats with them. They have great personalities, they are considerate of others, they are open minded.  They are cool. If there wasn’t such an age gap and if they could drive or stay up past 9, I think I could be friends with them.  So, I like my kids. (Which is a good thing since we are together almost every waking  hour of every day!)

But to me, one of the coolest parts of being a parent is watching how my kids process information differently.  They each experience life through their own set of glasses.  So yesterday, Jason and I were talking. His parents are coming up to visit and we were chatting about what we would like to do while they are here.  During the conversation, I tell him that the only way I would be content participating in a certain event is if I got to see Tiger.

My 10 year old, who LOVES golf…immediately spoke up and said “Tiger Woods…DaddycanIgoseeTigerWoods? Thatwouldbesocooldoyouthinkhewillbeinaredshirt?”

My almost 7 year old, rolls her eyes at her older sister, speaks up and says “When are we going to the zoo?  I think Grandma and PapPap would like the zoo.  Don’t you remember the Tiger’s laying up there so we could see them really well the last time we went?”  Now keep in mind the 7 year old likes to play “big cat” with anyone and everyone who is willing to crawl around on the floor with her….which usually means she is playing with the 2 year old.

We just laughed. How funny it is to see 2 kids who are growing up in the same house, who have the same parents, who are loved and treated equally, experience a coded conversation so differently.  I won’t tell you which Tiger we were talking about. We haven’t talked to Jason’s parents about the plan yet. But I can tell you that one of my girls is going to be disappointed, the other will be ecstatic and Isabel will probably not care either way.

Oh…I know it has been too long since my last post. So as I sit here waiting for my morning cup of coffee to kick in…with “Blue’s Clue’s” on the TV and a little one curled up beside me, I thought this was as good a time as any to write.

The past few months seem to have been one thing after another…just when I think I’m getting my feet under me, something else happens.  I won’t rehash everything that has happened lately, but….

Yesterday was going along pretty well….I had gotten up early, gotten a run in while the girls ate breakfast, we had done a full day’s worth of school and had finished early, we were going to do a craft project…something the girls enjoy doing but we seem to never get around to doing enough of….I go down to the basement to get our craft supplies and find water….everywhere.  It was not inches….there were many boxes that only got wet on the bottom and the contents inside were fine. But you can’t leave wet boxes in the basement or else things could get really moldy.  So we brought a few boxes to the garage and cleaned out a few and put the contents on shelves in the basement. But really…I was getting ready to craft and make dinner…can’t I catch a break?  I almost panicked when I saw some cross-stitch supplies got wet but it was okay.

I called my mom and was lamenting my misfortune with her.  Having her shoulder to lean on made me feel so much better.  I was able to take a deep breath and remember that it’s just stuff…..just stuff. We are all healthy and happy and the house is still standing.  My Mom and I  started chatting about God giving us the things we ask for, just maybe not in the way we wanted or expected.  I have prayed for patience for years. But I was talking about patience with my kids! Didn’t He understand that?    I told my mom a story of some wise ladies I know from a Bible study I was in while we lived in Shreveport. I made the comment one day that I had prayed for patience. They looked at me and took one step back…saying that people who prayed for patience had crazy things happen in their lives.  I reminded them that I was praying for myself to have patience with my kids. One lady responded “Yes, but you don’t think He teaches you things the way you ask for them do you?”  I laughed.

Now keep in mind, I don’t think God does these things or allows these things to happen to me because he is a mean and harsh God. I don’t believe that God is doing this to punish me. I think he’s just a parent trying to teach His child a lesson.   Kind of like I do my kids.

It didn’t take long for us to get the basement cleaned up. We put the girls to bed and then crashed on the couch for a bit before going to bed.  I will put on shoes and go down in a few minutes to check on the drying process.  Thank goodness Jason knows about these things…he is pretty sure he knows that the “fix” will be so this doesn’t happen again.  At least we had not done all the work to finish the basement before this happened.

All right..I get it or at least I hope I do.  Hmmm…based on the events of the past few months, I wonder where my next lesson will be.

Wow! I know life is busy for most of us on a regular basis….just taking care of a home, working, kids, pets, parents…all of those things keep us on our toes.  For us though, life has been especially crazy as of late.  As many of you know, Jason made the decision to get out of the Air Force. They wanted him deployed for at least 6 months out of every year.  He said that was too much for him to be away from his family (and I happened to agree) so he got out…not without much thought and prayer, but he did get out.

As a result, the past couple of months, we have been in chaos.  I don’t like chaos..there is a reason I married an engineer, but that is another blog for another time.  He has been steadily looking for jobs..he currently has about 17 resumes out there but at times there have been as many as 25.  We have had a couple of good leads, but nothing permanent yet.  And when you no longer work for the Air Force, you can’t live in their house. So with the separation from the Air Force, also came the need to move.

Leading up to Christmas, we started packing our household goods and putting them in storage.  Then after Christmas, we really got to work and eventually packed the entire house…oh my goodness, we have A LOT of stuff.  Not junk, but it takes a lot for a family of 5…and when you add to it Jason’s bad knee and the fact that I cut off the tip of my finger on Christmas Day…it just makes for a lot of work. And we would not have survived  if it had not been for our neighbors and friends in Shreveport.

So our stuff is in storage in LA until we know where we are moving. The last 2 days when we were pushing hard to get our stuff in storage, it rained. And rained. And rained.  We got our stuff in to storage…packed like sardines in a can…a day later than planned. We had so much out of the house, we couldn’t stay there but not enough that we were going to be able to leave so some neighbors offered to let us stay at their house.  We did and they watched the girls while we finished up.

So we gathered up the girls, the dog, the fish…yes, the fish…there is a lesson in this to teach my girls that you don’t just discard living things….and towed a small u-haul trailer to the panhandle of Florida. We are staying in a friend’s home for a couple of months if we need it.  What should have been a 10 hour trip turned in to a 14 hour trip involving lots of rain and coffee for the grown ups. But we made it safe and sound.

And even though our lively hood is up in the air…we don’t have a job, we don’t have a permanent home…I can’t help but feel thankful. Thankful we have family and friends who support this crazy decision. Thankful we have savings to get us through this period.  Thankful we have our health and each other to hang on to as we make this jump!

I know this is old news for most but thought I would post anyway.  Last Thursday we got a call from a neighbor that there was a special visitor on base. Everyone was home and we had no pressing tasks, so we all hopped in the van and went down to the designated area.

The gates were open so we were able to get a shot without a fence in the background.

 It was neat to see…especially for a geek like me who’s big dream in middle school was to be able to attend space camp.  I was surprised to see how beat up the shuttle looked though.  I thought it would look all nice and pretty like it does when I see it on TV.  But I guess if I had just re-entered the Earth’s atmosphere, I would look pretty rough too.

Close up of the not-so-pretty nose.

We had promised Jackie that we would take her to Dallas to see the King Tut exhibit at the Art Museum for her birthday. We aren’t in to the big birthday parties at hell Chuck E Cheese..we usually just let the girls pick one activity that is a big deal and that they would enjoy. How can we tell her “no” when she requests something like that as her birthday fun?  We were supposed to go in November but we had a family emergency and had to cancel the trip.

So on Wednesday we got up and out of the house by 6:30am- which is nothing short of a miracle for us.  We had a big day planned in Dallas….King Tut, The American Girl Store, Lakeshore Learning, and PF Changs for dinner. We drove 3 hours to Dallas and got to the museum just as 4 school buses pulled up. I was a little worried  about my kids getting run over but the high school kids we were surrounded by were very polite and friendly. They kept trying to take pictures of the exhibit with their cell phone cameras, but that wasn’t my problem.

The girls in front of the sign for the exhibit

We all learned many new and interesting things about the Boy King from Egypt that day. Katey was a little bored but tolerated the exhibit rather well.  Izzy came close to setting off several alarms but Jackie was fascinated….which is what this trip was all about.  It was awesome to watch my daughter ask questions and discuss what life must have been like in Egypt.  I think she even impressed a couple of the guides with her questions. “Why were the anterooms in the tomb so disorganized?  Has King Tut’s mummy ever travelled? Have they ever determined a cause of death?”  Active learning….I love it.  We didn’t see much of the rest of the museum as Daddy declared he hungry and “not that in to art”…such the engineer. (insert eye roll here) We ate lunch and then headed to the American Girl Store where Katey was MUCH happier.

After Katey took forever to decide what she wanted to spend her money on and Jackie got Mia’s ears pierced, we headed to the Lakeshore Learning store to pick up some Christmas things for the girls. How can you tell when the home school bug has bitten you? When you can find more Christmas for your kids at a school supply store than you can at Toys ‘R Us.  hee hee!

Then we moved on to PF Changs where we filled our bellies and walked around a very expensive mall before heading home.  No wonder the majority of families in the US are having  a hard time financially. I don’t know what kind of work these families are in to, but the number and size of bags leaving stores like Barneys, Saks, Versace, Louis Vuitton was almost nauseating.  I can’t help but wonder how many kids those bags of “stuff” could feed and clothe and shelter. I can be just as much of a consumer as the next gal but this place was ridiculous.

This photo was taken in a room with special lighting for an exhibit on color. My camera was on regular settings but we all looked like we were in black and white.

While Daddy ran in to get a cup of coffee, I changed the girls in to their jammies…we snuggled in to car seats with blankets and a movie and then headed home.  We didn’t get home until almost midnight but I must say we had a wonderful and fun day.