Was it ever in question?

Sitting here with “Oswald” on the tv and a 3-year-old cuddled up next to me on the couch this morning, I noticed one of the headlines in the Washington Post on-line….

“Army Ready To Take Drastic Action To Clear Up Record Keeping At Arlington”

I hope this was not a decision the Department of the Army had to contemplate for very long.  I mean, really.  The people buried at ANY cemetery should be treated with respect. But those buried at Arlington National Cemetery should be treated with a level of respect and honor unparalleled.  When I look at Arlington, the seemingly never-ending rows of headstones, it is an obvious, visual reminder of what is sacrificed to ensure our freedoms.  It’s not a number in the local paper, it’s not a singular story during the last moments of the evening news.  It is masses.  Over 300,000 and we are adding to it by about 100 a week. To me, Arlington shows the great amount of sacrifice made by a large number of people to ensure I can continue to celebrate the upcoming 4th of July holiday, that I can vote, that I can vote without fear of my finger being cut off, that my daughters can be anything they aspire to be.

My “sources” tell me that the Army has tried to get the resistant  director of Arlington National Cemetery to use a more modern, computer based tracking system for several years now.  But he put up a “fight” and wanted to stick to his 3×5 card based system.  I can’t decide what his motive might have been….was he just resistant to the computers because he is ambivalent about the use of technology?  OR was he worried that once they started inputting data in to the new system, his gross mismanagement would be uncovered?

Regardless, I am impressed by the tenacity of the wife who noticed her husbands marker had been switched. She did the paperwork and fought the red tape to get to the bottom of the issue.  I wonder if she had any idea how large of a problem this was?

I don’t think the Department of the Army is doing anyone any big favors by being willing to exhume bodies and perform DNA tests. Especially when I hear nauseating facts such as headstones being thrown in to a local creek as a way to control the flow of water. I think the DNA tests are a minimum of what the Army should do to make reparations for the families of those buried at Arlington.  Anything less would be unacceptable.

What do you care?

I just don’t understand why people are opposed to gays and lesbians serving openly in the military.  They say it can be “prejudicial to good order and discipline”. Really?  I have an opinion on this matter from a couple of different angles.

The first is that my husband was in a career field that was undermanned and overtasked for his last several years of active duty. Folks are leaving their families on a more frequent basis for longer periods of time and it is wearing on them.  And when they get back home, there is no “relief” from the workload because so many folks from home station are deployed and the work still has to get done.  So on that note, I say the more skilled, dedicated volunteers the military can have to serve, the better.  Does someone’s sexual orientation matter when they can safely contain an explosive device in the AOR and reduce the risk of death or injury to their fellow service members? I think not.

The second is that I really don’t care what other people do in their bedrooms.  I don’t care if you are a heterosexual couple that has sex 5 times a day with every toy and gadget known to man. I don’t care if you are a homosexual couple who never has sex.  I just don’t care.  That relationship and the boundaries involved is between those two people and it’s none of my business unless someone is being hurt or abused.  If you think being gay is wrong or immoral then don’t be gay.

The only question I will ask is this…why is it “wrong” for a committed, monogomous gay couple to be intimate but it’s not “wrong” or immoral for  heterosexuals to be married 2,3, sometimes 4 times?  So many people talk about how recognizing gay couples is offensive to the institution of marriage.  I think there are several things done by heterosexual couples that could be added to that list of “offensive” items.  But I digress….

During my time in the military, I was fortunate enough to work with several individuals who made my “gaydar” ping.  They were productive, easy to work with, professional….they participated in unit events, they worked late when necessary and did an exceptional job.  Not to mention that most of “those people” were even pleasant to work with. They did not come in from a long night out partying at the “gay” bar tired and not able to work. They didn’t come in talking about all sorts of drama with their myriad of love interests.  That was all of my young, single Airmen!

So you think that they might start behaving that way if they are allowed to serve openly?  If we don’t want to hear about the private life of our gay military members, can you tell those who come in to work announcing all of the latest details about their failing marriage and those professing their faith to others that they need to be quiet too?  I’m just sayin’.

So what is everyone all scared about?  What’s wrong with repealing the DADT policy?  Part of the beauty of an all volunteer force in our country is that we can ALL come together to fight for and defend our freedoms. The freedoms that allow us and encourage us to be who we are.  That great melting pot know as America. Don’t you see that even though some may think they have NOTHING in common with the gay soldier beside them, they really do have something….love of their country.

And if, in your argument against gays serving openly in the military, you want to quote various verses of the Bible, then how about this one?  Leviticus 19:17-18

So Close yet so far….

So this past month has been really busy. You would think it would have been more quiet with school out, but it wasn’t. I made a trip out of town to help a family member and in the process, met a new one.  Meeting Chris was a high point of my trip.

Then the day after I got home, I received an interesting phone call.  Months ago, I convinced Jason to apply to be on The Amazing Race. I think we make a great team and we problem solve differently but well together.  We heard nothing….until late July.  But they weren’t interested in Jason and I together, they were interested in a military spouses team and they wondered if I had a good friend I would be willing (and could convince) to travel around the world with.  I told them about 2….KC and KL. I’ve been friends with KC longer but they were interested in KL because we had become good friends when we were stationed together in GA.

So I call KL and manage to get her to go along…I think she was pretty unsure but she went anyway.  We made a video andfilled out a 15,000 page application.  we faxed, we scanned, we uploaded and we waited for a phone call…every time my cell phone rang, I dropped what I was doing and ran to that phone faster than a 16 year old waiting for her crush to call.  That video wasn’t what they were looking for so we made a 2nd one. Now remember….we were trying to get both of us on camera and we live over 1000 miles apart.  I’m in LA and KL is in VA.  Look…I can cook, crochet, cross stitch, run, change a diaper one handed, survive over 7 months with a hubby in a combat zone….but I am not technologically gifted.  Thanks to my dh, we were able to get the video together.

We got another call from casting on Monday and were asked many questions…most of which related to things that could have been liability issues for the show. We knew we were being “pitched” and we waited for the call that might send us to finals in Los Angeles.  Well, today the call came and we weren’t selected to go to LA for the finals.  That stinks.  I’m disappointed and wish we would have been selected to race around the world for 1 million bucks.  Mostly its not about the money but more about doing something for myself.

But two things happened during this whole experience.  The first is that 2 husbands earned some mucho points.  Jason and ML were very supportive of us trying to get on the show. They may have thought it was a long shot, but they were willing to help us find childcare for the kids and helped us get our computers set up for the video. They also lasted through long phone calls of us wondering about the “what ifs”.  But I also learned about friendship.  All I can say without getting too gushy–’cause KL isn’t a big fan of that –is that it takes a special kind of person to be willing to leave her family and, literally, be willing to travel around the world with you.

Theme Song….

Lately I have an understanding for the challenges that Salmon face on an annual basis.  We are making some pretty big changes in our lives in a few short months and, while it may make sense for our family, neither of the biggest changes exactly go along with the social “norms”.  We feel in our hearts they are the right decisions and no one has given us a particularly hard time about them, but big changes are still hard.

So I was in my kitchen by myself the other day. The girls and DH were somewhere out of the house for a bit….I was cleaning and listening to my ipod (with my headphones on so I can get in my groove).    This song came on…..the lyrics struck me at this particular moment on this particular day…so I turned it up and DANCED!

The Long Way Around by the Dixie Chicks

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I’ve been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I’m gonna settle down
But I’ve always found my way somehow

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn’t kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It’s been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I’m getting’ it back on the road now

But I’m taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I’m taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I’m gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

This old house…

Jason goes upstairs to take his shower after we get the girls to bed and I sit on the couch watching whatever show I want to see on Tivo that he has no interest in. I hear a funny noise.  In this old house, you never know what you may find….a squirrel platoon who may have decided to invade or a water bug so large you can only kill him with dh’s size 15 shoe.  I walk around the area a little bit….looking, looking. WHAT THE ?!?!? I have water dripping on me! Its coming from upstairs down the dining room wall and from a bubble that has been created in the ceiling of the first floor. I am standing directly under the Master Bath where dh is taking a shower! I quickly run upstairs and tell dh to get out of the shower b/c we have a leak.

The next day we call housing maintenance and they send the handy dandy repairman who just finished reporting to his parole officer.  Anyway, he says its because of cracks in the grout. He seals it.

Earlier this week it started leaking again.  We call. They send the same genius who came out the first time and now he says it must be the overflow valve. He “fixes” that.  Now, did the guy even look through the door that gives access to the bathroom plumbing from a closet in another room? No. Did he look at the bubble in the ceiling of the dining room?  No way. Did he talk about the best way to dry up the water that is sitting  between the floors of the home? Never in a million years. Did dh bother to ask him?  No…but that is another blog for another day.

On Thursday night, Jason is once again taking his evening shower and I hear that same familiar drip, drip.  ((sigh)) I know exactly where to look and there is another leak. I tell Jason to get out of the shower again. So after he comes down stairs, we have a conversation.  I think there is something fishy going on. It doesn’t leak when I take a shower. It doesn’t leak when our girls take a shower. It doesn’t leak when I take a shower with a various combination of the girls. It only leaks when dh takes a shower. He gets all offended that I may be implying he is obese and he sticks out his chest, beats on it and says in his best caveman dialect “what did you do?”.  WHAT DID I DO? Ha!  I just roll my eyes and walk away. He made it too easy. I could have beat him with one hand tied behind my back.

So Friday the normal handy dandy repair guy comes in.  Not the parole repair guy. The one who has some common sense, but smells like his last place of employment was in a tobacco barn. I tell him my theory and he nods his head.  It appears these houses are old enough that the supports under the tub are weakening. And when someone who is approximately my hubby’s size gets in, the support bends and there are subsequent gaps around the tub and it leaks! HA! I am not as crazy has my hubby thinks….take a shower in another bathroom and he will get the wood and come back on Monday. I can do that. We have 2 other full baths in this house.

But wait…it gets better…..so last night Jason moves over to the girls’ bathroom to take a shower.  I’m downstairs and decide to get something to drink. I go to walk in the kitchen and my socks are wet. HUH? I’m confused. But only for a second. I hear the familiar sound. It appears we now have a leak in the kitchen.  You know…the kitchen which is directly under the girls’ bathroom.

Tonight he has to move to bathroom number 3. Wow!  This is amazing housing we get for “free”.