Conversations…. July 26, 2009

Many of our parents grew up in a time when there were two things….maybe three depending on the family….that were never discussed….politics and religion.  It was not considered appropriate to bring up topics that could cause disagreement. And many people I know, still feel this way.  We should just “be nice” to each other.  We should not do anything to upset anyone else.  If we invite someone in to our home for dinner, we should keep our elbows off the table, say grace before the meal and keep to strictly “safe” topics….like the weather or what is on sale at the local grocery store. I can understand why folks feel that way, but I have to disagree.  Strongly.

I think we SHOULD have those conversations with people.  I think we should ask those at our dinner table how they feel about  healthcare and energy resources in our country. We should ask our friends what they think about North Korea and how we should react. Of course, in order for this to happen there have to be some ground rules.  First, we should treat each other with respect.  No yelling. No name calling.  We should also truly LISTEN to each other.  And I mean really listen.  Try to understand why the person across the table from you has a different view on a topic than you do.  And lastly, we should remain friends after any heated conversations occur.  No harm, no foul.

Many times, when I form an opinion about a topic, I only know my side and my view. A view that is often skewed by my life experiences.  It doesn’t make me a bad person, it’s just that I only know what I know.  It is often hard for me to see the topic from the other side.  And other folks are the same way. We all have different life experiences and that is what leads us to most of our beliefs on religion and politics.

So we need to have these conversations. If we talk about our differing views on important topics such as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, healthcare, the bailouts….if I listen to your views and you listen to mine. Maybe, just maybe, we can meet….somewhere in the middle.  Maybe you can start to understand why I may be against a policy that you support.  Maybe I can understand why you feel the way you do about a government program. 

These conversations aren’t arguments. They aren’t fights.  They aren’t drama.  They are good healthy discussions of the things that are important to us as citizens of our country and residents on planet Earth.

And if we understand each other, then we might be more likely to step away from the nastiness we often see in politics and the media.  We might be more likely to come to a middle ground….a middle ground that would be good for the growth of individual persons and our country.

Katey and Cloudy July 13, 2009

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.  ~Winston Churchill

I know it seems like forever ago to us grown ups, but many people know Katey did not handle Jason’s deployment in 07/08 very well. Then shortly after he gets home, we announce that he is getting out of the AF and we will move again.  That was followed by a switch to home school and chaos ruling our lives for about 6 months.  And all during this, Katey was becoming more and more withdrawn….only wanted to watch TV or movies, didn’t want to go outside and play much, her eating habits changed, she had recurrent bad dreams, she wasn’t her usual frisky self, etc.  All of which were not my usual Katey but understandable under the circumstances.

Another thing that happened was Katey did not want to participate in any of her usual activities while Jason was deployed and that continued through out the move and up until recently.  She had decided that she wanted to try horseback riding. I agreed…whatever she was interested in that would get her back out there and feeling more independant.  THEN I checked on lesson prices!  GASP! I never knew horseback riding was THE MOST expensive activity in North America! I’m sure it’s not, but still.    Well, I had already agreed and it is the only thing she wanted to do…golf? No.  Swimming? No. Soccer? No. Tennis? No.  Crap.  But as parents you do what you need to do and Jason and I both felt that we needed to follow through on this for her.  So once we got to VA, I found the stable that offered the best deal for a week of camp.  And all the while, I was crossing my fingers that she would get close to the horses, realize how big they are, and decide it was not for her.  As you can see from the pictures below, no such luck!

The kids were able to decorate their horses for the show.

There is usually no sign of the dimples when Katey is concentrating on something.

I think she’s pretty proud of herself….and rightfully so!

Katey spent last week having an awesome time!  She learned SO much and has come home teaching all of us a thing or two about horses.  She fell off the horse playing a game on Monday, but she wasn’t hurt and climbed back on.  On Tuesday she got to ride a horse down to the creek so they could play. By Wednesday she was trotting, and Thursday was trotting with jumps.  Friday we were able to go to the stables for a show. It was awesome to see my Katey up on that big horse and she was actually controlling him. They gave out ribbons for the categories of the show and she even got a First Place!

Me vs the Mommy Jeans July 4, 2009

Another year….another birthday.  SIGH…..You know, other than 30 and maybe 25, they all just start to blend together.  No on ever seems to remember what they did for their 34th birthday….or their 22nd for that matter. 

I think, essentially, there are two ways to look at birthdays.  Some folks experience birthdays with a certain sadness for time that has passed.  Thinking back, often with rose colored glasses, to their glory days.  Or maybe they are sad because someone they love has passed and can no longer spend their birthdays with them.  I look at birthdays in a forward thinking sort of way. I try to examine what has happened in the past year, learn something from it, and look forward to what the next year can bring. What do I want to learn in the coming year? What would I like to accomplish?I don’t feel like I am getting old.  On a daily basis, I don’t “feel” differently than I did at 18.  Oh, my run times are slower,  I can see more wrinkles and certainly having 3 kids has done it’s share of damage to my body. But all  in all, I think age is sneaking up on me….or, quite possibly, I am in denial. HA! 

One thing I am definitely trying to do is to fight the Stay-At-Home-Mom frumpiness that can settle in so easily.  So many SAHM moms spend so much time taking care of their husbands and children and the dog and the fish and the cat and the hamster, that they put themselves last on their list. It’s a list they can never get to the end of.  It’s a slippery slope….first you start out getting your hair ”styled”  so all you have to do to leave the house is pull it back….the bra is probably the next thing to go…who needs a boost when what you are really after is comfort?  Somewhere in there is the jeans….you give up on those cute midrise bootleg  jeans for a pair of “Mommy jeans”.  Jeans that come all the way up to your armpits, make your butt look like a beachball, but fit perfectly under that oversized tshirt or sweatshirt.  And of course….old, heavy tennis shoes go great with those “Mommy jeans”.  Makeup is rarely applied and is limited to church and special occassions.   And the next thing you know, frumpy has set in.

Don’t get me wrong,  I understand…..the cashier at Target could care less if you are wearing makeup when you and your 3 screaming kids check out.  The multiplication problems your 5th grader must learn don’t care if your hair is in a scrunchy or styled perfectly.  The 2 year old could care less how “perky” you are when she falls on the floor in a temper tantrum. 

But I have decided that I am going to fight it.  OH…I’m not running out to get those leopard print spandext pants to wear to park day.  And I certainly am not getting a “hot momma” sticker for the van.  I REFUSE to show my belly button in public or get anything (other than my ear) pierced.  My jeans will not go so low that I show my “muffin top” to the entire population of Northern Virginia. I’m not trying to lose my dignity after all!  But I will keep on running and learning and growing.  I will park the 2 year old in front of the TV so I can take a few minutes to shower and get dressed.  I will by new clothes, on occasion, that call for a hand wash or even an iron. (GASP!) I will get my hair cut on a regular basis. I can do all those things AND take care of the kids with craft projects and baking brownies, but you had better believe I’m going to be doing it with a cute apron on!

Just Stand Still….. June 25, 2009

Have you ever been to a really busy place with your kids?  Recently we moved to the DC area and have started to ride the Metro…the girls love it!  But I have taught the girls that if something happens and we are separated…say some of us make it on to the train and others don’t….that they should just stand still.  Don’t get on a train….don’t start walking….don’t talk to strangers…..just stand still.  The reasoning is simple….objects in motion are harder to find.  If something is not moving, it’s easier to find.  It takes a lot longer to kill that pesky fly zipping around than it does to find your running shoes that were left in the wrong place.

So there is a human phenomenon I have noticed that kind of baffles me.  Why is it that when people want to “find” themselves, they do something drastic with their lives?  Move to another city….get a new job….separate from a spouse. Often times those same people have a social calendar that would make President Obama look like a slacker….constantly in motion, constantly going somewhere, meeting someone or doing something.  I’m not one to sit around in front of the boob tube and let the days of my life slip away, but seriously.

I’m not talking about physically being still. I know many people who ponder the meaning of life….their lives…while they are on a run or a ride or on a yoga mat. I’m talking about mentally standing still.  Taking the time to stop and look at your surroundings, the people you associate with, the people you don’t associate with, thinking about the God you worship or the god you don’t worship.  Taking a look at the big picture and deciding if you are on the right path for your goals in life.

But that leads me back to the same question…..How can you find yourself if your self won’t just stand still?

Is it over yet? June 24, 2009

Oh my gosh! I am so tired.  We were doing well with the home school schedule before we moved, but since we lived in the FL panhandle and then moved to South Florida and are now up here in VA, it’s like this school year will just never end.  And because I am the one responsible for ensuring Jackie and Katey receive a good education, I can’t just “pencil-whip” it and be done. I have to continue to struggle through this and make sure we do a good job. I owe it to them and they deserve it.

And to think about starting over for next “year” when I haven’t finished with this one, is just exhausting…I can’t even think about it. And so….

I’m going to bed.